"I want to know Christ and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow to attain to the resurrection from the dead."  Philippians 3:10

Scary.  That's my first thought.  When I wrote it in my journal this morning, and as I typed it just now, I had to will my hands to work.  "Share in His sufferings..."  That brings images to mind of losing my family or being diagnosed with something unfathomable.  Neither of which, if I'm honest, do I wake up in the morning hoping will be brewing next to my morning coffee.  So how could Paul say such a thing?  I mean, not just say ... but live.  Yeesh.

Here's what poured out of God's loving hand straight to my heart as I spoke these fears to Him and began to consider Paul and what knowledge he had backing his bold statements ...

Life.  This life.  This material life is death.  All Fading.  All finite.  Knowing Christ alone, holding His perspective - on life, on suffering, on the power of resurrection (Life itself, the real, true, eternally significant, eternity-filled-kind-of-life-after-death-to-all-that-is-fleeting) is only attainable through knowing Christ.  Knowing Christ, and knowing Him alone.  Not in a cerebral sense as much as knowing through experience of His working, His nature, His presence...intimately knowing. Like a wife knows a husband, not like a doctoral student knows Christopher Columbus after completing a dissertation on "The Explorer who Discovered our Home."  Knowing, like Paul knew Christ.

And maybe that's my problem.  Maybe that's our problem. We are scared to know Christ in His sufferings because we know Christ way more like a doctoral student than we'd like to admit.   Maybe it's our problem and our challenge all rolled into one.  Maybe we need to resolve to know Christ as Paul did.

"For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified."  I Corinthians 2:2

Pretty tall order.  Pretty sure it's worth it.  Weren't we created to know Christ like this?

My husband and I love to hike, backpack, camp ... pretty much anything that has to do with us being in the mountains for an extended period of time with nothing but the packs on our back.  There is just something incomparably refreshing about waking up to the sounds of nature in the morning, drinking black coffee and chowing down on trail mix.  With all the distractions and stress of everyday life removed and replaced by miles and miles of trails and nature in its purest form, communing with God and refreshment come easy.  Makes me wish I was there right now.  Unfortunately, since our move to Texas, we haven't seen much of the mountains!

Yesterday my quiet time took me back to the book of Exodus, back to the story of God revealing His name and identity to Moses as "I AM who I AM," back to God calling Moses to lead His people from Egypt.  It was in that early commune with God on Mount Horeb that Moses came to understand God as the I AM, the all sufficient, all knowing, all loving, all-everything God.  It was the instructing and equipping that happened on the mountain that allowed Moses to accomplish what God called him to back in the palace of Egypt.

Then, once the people had been set free, had crossed the red sea on dry land and were daily eating their portion of manna, God once again called Moses to the mountain--this time Mount Sinai-- where He equipped Moses with instruction on the law and sacrifices, leadership and order, and so much more.

It was during each of these times of communion with God on each mountain that Moses' needs were met, his countenance changed, his leadership instructed and anointed--and Moses' understanding of God as I AM evolved from a fact that he simply acknowledged into a fact that he personally experienced.  This understanding changed everything about the way Moses led.  Personally experiencing God as the all sufficient I AM would prove crucial in his ability to lead an obstinate people for the next 80 years through the desert to the Promised Land.

What does this have to do with us?  God hasn't changed and His calling on our lives (especially as ministers of the gospel) is often as great as Moses' ... "Lead my people, my obstinate people, down a road not often traveled, a difficult terrain, and keep your eyes on my cloud, on my fire.  I will guide you towards the abundance I have promised, the overflowing life I came to give my people." But, we have to know God as the I AM before we will trust Him enough to follow Him with out question ... let alone lead others down that same path.

So, my... your ... our faithfulness to go to the mountain, to let I AM be our all, to allow Him to change our face, to change our lives, to anoint and instruct our leadership is way more important than taking on the role as leader.  Who we become on the mountain determines who we will be as leaders through the desert.

So, Texas or Colorado, Main or Washington State, I say, let's get to the mountain.  Whatcha say?